April 2020 – Is the cruelest month

It’s Layla (the clever one) here to guide you through (some of) the happenings at Hazels during the past four weeks. SWhoMBO has long admired T.S.Eliot’s ‘The Wasteland’ and so I thought it fitting to borrow the opening line for this month’s title.

Inevitably, due to Covid-19, work on the house project has slowed considerably. However, there has been some progress.  Since Easter the oak beams inside have been cleaned to within an inch of their lives.

Moses will share a detailed report about inside happenings with you in the May edition.

Outside Work

At the beginning of the third week of April, I was strolling around the site in the morning when I came across these two scary-looking ‘creatures’ and wondered what they were doing on my grass. It all became clear later that day when I eaves-dropped on a conversation between Mr Rod and SWhoMBO.

It seems that Hennie and his ground workers are to dig 600 metres of trench in the top field. But, to prepare for what?

Ah, it would appear that ‘Energy My Way’ are to lay 600 metres of ground source heating pipes in those trenches.  But, oh dear, we ‘enjoyed’ torrential rain on three days this week. What a shame that they were not scheduled to do the work last week when there was brilliant sunshine all day, every day.

They will all return next week, when the forecast (at least, according to Polish-British weatherman Tomasz Schafenacker) is set for the sun to be shining.

The World According to Layla

From the Recent Postbags

I am very happy that many of our readers seemed to appreciate our various skills in the last two months.

“Loved the cats Guide to Isolation in the March edition – a very helpful list!”                     West Wickham Wanderers

Guildford Girl certainly likes our photographs:  “What glorious Spring photos!!! Haven’t we been lucky with the weather, so enabling you to take such purrfect photos. So impressed. I think you are definitely gifted in that field and you should consider taking on the seriously important job of Court Photographer.”

Prompted by the photo of our frenzied assistance with Mr Rod’s filing, Fernhurst Filly dangled the following employment carrot:

“I was hoping to offer Freddie and Layla the job of sorting out my filing – currently piled up in the dining room! You are obviously complete experts. Please do let me know if you would like to see a full job description – I will be offering a generous perks incentive of tinned mackerel and Dreamies in a number of flavours. Looking forward to hearing from you.”

Hascombe Honey (who can boast of a most successful building project herself) gave our humans some encouraging advice:

“Keep going! You are definitely in that strange phase of everything looking like it’s happening at once and nothing looks very different. Immensely frustrating and knee deep mud added to the process doesn’t help! All things will pass and warmer winds and longer days will help the drying out begin in earnest. This bit is when you need to steel yourselves! Wine helps”   

Canterbury Belle sent some sunflowers seeds accompanied by a challenge to grow for the best flowers: “Wow we got a mention – we did worry it was a bit like a busman’s holiday for Mr Rod….”

Not a bit of it – Mr Rod is always up for a gardening competition!

Many readers were taken by the self isolation chair, not least Puttenham pal: “Hi, the house looks great, could do with some furniture! I am sad the self isolation chairs have sold out…..could be good now sun is out.” 

Storrington Stars sent the following note from their Old English Sheepdog: “Truffle here – Just wanted to say thanks for the additional publicity, and that my parents think I was so well behaved with Clare Balding on the day. In reality, I was worn out after all that Crufts PR work, and couldn’t bark even if I wanted to!! Xx”

Spring flowers 

So many people have sent us such beautiful spring flower photos that I decided I must include the best ones here.

Novel ways to make ‘Lockdown’ more bearable

Teddy Spotting 

To cheer up children on their daily walk, a global teddy bear hunt has been taking place from Scandinavia to the USA, Australia and New Zealand. Teddy scavenger hunts were inspired by the children’s book ‘We’re Going on a Bear Hunt’ written by Michael Rosen 1989. The premise is simple – leave out stuffed animals on your window sills so children can count how many they have seen on their walks.

Some serve an educational purpose, such as teddies being placed apart to demonstrate social distancing, while others wear masks. The idea was popularised after residents in Reykjavik started doing it to entertain Icelandic children.

Cat LockDown Humour

Other Favourite Lockdown Humour

A drink anyone?

Humour from ‘Over the Pond’

Lockdown Lingo – are you fully conversant with the new terminology?

*Coronacoaster*
The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic.

*Quarantinis*
Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever ingredients you have in the house.

*Blue Skype thinking*
A work brainstorm session taking place over a video-conferencing app.

*The elephant in the Zoom*
Issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. messy house visible in the background.

*Le Creuset wrist*
Aching arm after taking one’s saucepan outside to bang during weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’

*Coronials*
Future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine.

*Furlough Merlot*
Wine consumed in attempt to relieve the frustration of not working, aka “bored-eaux”.

*Quentin Quarantino*
Attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they are convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.

After it is all Over

Moses look forward to seeing you all again at the end of May.  In the meantime,

March 2020 – A Month Like No Other

Hello, it’s Freddie here.

As you can see from the photos above, the first day of March started so promisingly after all the terrible weather of January and February. Usually, at the end of each month, my brother or sister or I would tell you about the last four weeks’ progress on the Hazels new build project. However, with the unrelenting onslaught of Covid-19, March 2020 could not be described as a ‘usual’ month for anyone.

Therefore, in recognition of all this and after much wise counsel from the Young Master, Mr Rod and SWhoMBO considered it was inappropriate at this moment to publish details of the recent happenings at Hazels (although I can report that there has been some progress) and instead we should save this photographic narrative for less uncertain times.

However, Maidstone Mister was also most persuasive in his argument that some light relief is welcome and, indeed, necessary on these occasions. So, with grateful thanks to him, I am including here below just a few observations and some pictures of amusing items received in recent days.

Huh, Moses and Layla say that this is my infamous chicken impression, but I do not know what they mean!

From the Postbag

We are so impressed with how creative people can be in difficult times. This exciting little package arrived at the end of last week. As you will all know (particularly as he never seems to stop going on and on about them), Mr Rod is rather fond of sunflowers.  Thanks very much to Canterbury Belle and we will keep everyone posted on progress.

Our very good friend Truffle the Old English Sheepdog (staff members = the Storrington Stargazers) was asked to be a poster girl for Crufts this year. And if that was not exciting enough, we were thrilled to receive this lovely photo of her interviewing an up and coming TV personality (we think!) in front of her very own picture. With her cropped hair, doesn’t she look absolutely gorgeous (Truffle, that is)?

Our feline friendships extend far and wide. However, this one with Minty only just creeps over the border into West Sussex. As you can see, she is very quick to catch on.

Mikal’s Mate in Helsinki never lets us down, ALWAYS having something amusing to contribute.

The Greenoak Groupies (who are also building an oak framed house in north Surrey) might be self-isolating on the south coast but their oak beams have come up a treat with their ‘acid’ cleaning. Mr Rod and SWhoMBO look forward to the same effect on their own timbers. (Layla says that does not sound quite right, but I am leaving it as it is!)

Blue Container

Like me, Layla was convinced that the infamous blue container would not be re-opened until the time came to move into the new house.

Many of you will remember that some months ago the Young Master berated his progenitors for ‘storing’ so much stuff, a large percentage of which he predicted they would no longer ‘love’ in future years. Whilst they heeded his words to a limited extent, we know that, much to his annoyance, they still kept a large number of the boxes.

Understandably, Layla was appalled at the beginning of March to discover that Mr Rod and SWhoMBO were again secretly sneaking into the container (when they thought we cats were sleeping) and sorting through many of the packages. And, surprise! surprise! there were many cries of “Why did we keep THIS?” and “Did you think we would use this again?” Ah well, everything is a little bit tidier now and at least the Godalming charity shops did benefit.

Out & About

Social Media Humour

I am always amazed at how quickly funny pictures and jokes appear about current situations. Many of them could be described as being ‘darkly’ comic and fairly hard hitting. So, I am including here just a small selection of the lighter, more humorous ones (and particularly those that relate to felines) which have entertained us in recent days.

And, just in case you had not yet adopted the principles, here is:

The Cat’s Guide to Self-Isolation  

• Snacking
• Relaxing
• Snacking
• Sleeping
• Staying hydrated
• More snacking
• Taking regular exercise (if you must)
• Staying connected with your staff members (a.k.a. family)
• Keeping tidy
• Stimulating activities
• More sleeping
• Yet more snacking

With very best wishes to all of you and I hope that April will prove to be a less challenging month for us all.

Finally, despite all the difficult news:

February 2020 – helmikuu, 二月, februari, luty, únor

It’s Moses here this month. I have never seen so much water in all my life, But I am not going to dwell on the weather here, otherwise I will become very melancholy.

What is happening?

My sister Layla and I do not always see eye to eye (she has a big problem comprehending that ‘Top Cat’ refers only to the male of the species), but we do agree on working together to keep the human staff under the paw. And that means their needing to inform us about  the build status of the new Hazels.

We have been eavesdropping on various conversations to get some sort of handle about what is going on and when we are likely to move in. Specifically, when asked for a time estimate, SWhoMBO says “summer” and Mr Rod counters with “which year”. We have also heard various references to the leading question about expenditure always asked by Kevin McCloud on the Grand Designs programmes.  Mr Rod often laughingly contends that at least half the build spend is in the ground (really?)

So, being a very helpful sort of cat, I decided to find out for myself.

I just did not realise how much costs had escalated.

However, Mr Rod and SWhoMBO still seem to be smiling so I am sure it will all work out in the end!

Outside Progress

Not a vast amount to report on the outside this month.

Inside Progress

A very different story here.

At the beginning of the month piles of plaster board were delivered. As Layla is the one of us who is always hanging around inside (have we ever mentioned that she loves men and will do anything to make them notice her?) the new building , we decided that she could investigate the new arrivals.

It is rumoured that that this lovely metal step ladder is to be replaced.

There is now a new wooden ‘temporary’ staircase. We cannot understand it ourselves but it seems it is much easier for the humans to walk up and down with ‘stuff’!

Believe it or not, we have to put even more insulation on the inner outside walls and roof. This is to create an air-tight environment, which is then pressurised before holes are made. Hence, all the ‘green’ growing like mould everywhere.

February Postbag

As ever, we were so pleased to hear from all our contributors.  Thank you so much for your continuing enthusiasm and optimism for the Hazels project.

Puttenham Pal commented: “Well Layla!!! It looks as though they have mastered the underfloor heating….all warm and cosy. Can’t wait for the opening ceremony…..it looks pretty near the finishing line….good luck to all.”

Having read the paragraph about kitchen ‘discussions’ between Mr Rod and SWhoMBO  Fernhurst Filly was the first of many to make contact about the ‘magic’ tap: “Having had a Quooker for over a year now, I would certainly recommend it. However, I still can’t stop saying, “I’ll just go and put the kettle on” – which is just so last century!!” 

Hong Kong Buddy joined in the fun by sending some additional pictures of her beautiful new kitchen (seemingly getting lots of use since the appearance of the coronavirus):  “Forgot to mention that the installation of the hot/cold water filtration tap is a must-have for the kitchen. Imagine hot drinking water any time of day n night!”

Guildford Girl was quick off the mark to say “Layla (&co), It’s always a treat to receive your updates and note the progress on your master & mistress’ house. You do realise that since you three took over, Mr Rod & SWhoMBO have totally lost their ability to put pen to paper and write anything of significance? Just as well you’ve stepped up to the mark and raised the literary standard so admirably!”

We have also received further word from our feline friend Fitzroy (via the Francophile Friends).  He advises us that, with the increase of freelancers ‘working from home’, put-upon cats might be forced to share their work spaces with staff. These arrangements  make no sense whatsoever. Clever mousers work tirelessly to produce mission statement output from the keyboard such as “hhhhhhhhjjjjmmmmlrlrlrlrlrlrlrlbvbvbv” and “qwertyuiop{}asdfghjkl:zxcvbnm<>?” But the sum total of what humans are likely to do would be to use the computers’ tools to draft documents, draw graphs, grapple with typography or assemble images.  It is a strange world indeed!

The following update arrived from the Green Oak Groupies about their own Oakwrights construction in Esher:  “We are currently cabling and plumbing first fix inside and have the stud walls in place and the interesting ceilings. Next week we have lead man , flat roof man, hopefully render man and also hopefully they will be able to finish the roof to the main house. Also the satellite dish is going up and the flue for the stove going down. We are having a big push in the hopes the scaffolding can come down at the end of this month.
They are also doing the foundations for the garage and basement. They have a pump going 24/7. The base has been poured and I think the walls will be poured next week. They are coping with the appalling weather. There is never a dull moment.”

We were most impressed with the standard of the loo facilities for their workmen. Definitely quite a cut above the Porta loo offering at Hazels.

And even more fun is that this toilet has been twinned………………………………………..

Finally. we were absolutely delighted to hear news from the Sages of Englefield Green and receive some photos from their recent Sri Lankan holiday. But, by far our favourite snap is this one, which was clearly made for us!

SWhoMBO ‘Time Out’

Fortunately, it has not been all planning, measuring, trawling the internet and the like for SWhoMBO this month. At the beginning of February she took a Saturday off for a ‘Mother and Son’ day out with the Young Master. After a morning at the Picasso and Paper exhibition, they took a leisurely walk to Covent Garden to enjoy a relaxed lunch (and just a few glasses of wine) at a seafood restaurant.

Of course, we cats take a keen interest in all the post that arrives at Hazels. None more so than on 14th February. We could not quite believe that there was a sunflower on the Valentine’s card addressed to SWhoMBO. And to think we always believed the identity of the sender was supposed to be a big secret!

Looking Forward To March

We know there will be lots of craftsmen working away inside (and outside) the house during March. The windows and doors for the two ‘extension’ ends have been delayed until 4 March but these will make such a difference to the overall look of the building.

In the meantime, we are somewhat relieved to see that serious consideration is being given (at last) to our future means of entry to the new Hazels.

Finally, this should serve as a reminder when any thought is given to packing up………….

Freddie is now waiting patiently to bring you all the news next month.

January 2020 – Year of the Hambledon Ziggurat

Layla here, to take you through the (muted) thrills and spills of January.

Whilst Mr Rod and SWhoMBO neither live in a tower-like structure anymore, nor boast an enormous earthwork or sandhill at the base of their new construction, I am nevertheless somewhat taken with the idea of the Hazels edifice being perceived by all and sundry as a Ziggurat (‘zig–oo-rat’) or ‘temple-observatory’!

Furthermore, 2020 is the Chinese Year of the Rat so this all seems most appropriate.

I really do not think I could have given a bigger hint of my expectation of comparable comfort (at the very least) in the new house.

Thankfully, I have been reassured that there WILL be underfloor heating on both the ground and upper floors.

I am clearly famous (infamous is far more likely! – Ed) as my image appears to be captured all over and in the most unlikely places eg on this table napkin.

January 2020 Build Progress

I am reliably informed that the concrete screed on the ground floor has dried out after (what has seemed like interminable) six weeks. So I am delighted to report that internal, as well as external, building work can now continue in earnest.

Exterior:

Interior:

December 19/January 20 Postbag

Maidstone Mister has also tried to get in on the publishing act by sending a message to Freddie: “I think the photo of the Rainbows is beautiful, and indeed encouraging to know that Hazels is going to be a lovely home, but I’m surprised that you and your companions did not have some fun with the screed – or at least leave your paw mark signatures in it.”

Well, we thank Maidstone Mister for his compliments and note his observation. However, I must also impress upon him that our protracted and frustrating absence from the wet screed was assuredly not for want of trying. Moses, Freddie and I attempted every trick in the book of ‘how to get the better of staff’ to gain entry to the house while the concrete was drying out in order to make our mark, but we were thwarted at every stage. On this (very rare) occasion, Mr Rod reigned supreme!

We were also amused to receive this heartfelt plea from Francophile Friends “We are hosting our daughter’s cat – Fitzroy.  Unfortunately, he has not yet fully grasped the IT skills he needs to write a blog. PLEASE can Layla, Moses and Freddie help?”

You have our sympathy and we are very fur-miliar with such problems. Happily, Fitzroy appears to be very claw-ver and have great cat-titude. Francophile Friends are most fur-tunate that there is a paw-sibility of a place becoming available on the radi-claw and (if I may say so myself) paw-some blog course for cats devised by us.  Whilst he may not achieve immediate purr-fection, Fitzroy will soon be feline furry good about himself.

If the Friends were further interested, we also run popular cat litter-ature classes, studying classic works by authors such as F. Scott Fitzferal, William Shakespaw, Purrnest Hemmingway, Charles Lickens and JK Meowling.

Finally, whilst on a feline theme, we were thrilled to receive this delightful relief shot from Mikal’s Mate of Killi looking out of the window in Helsinki.

Curiosity Corner:

Oh no – bats are back!

I was gazing idly at the roof line the other day when, to my very great horror, I noticed a large amount of bat droppings on the side of the bat box. This can only mean one thing – that Pipistrellus Pipistrellus (common pipistrelle) ……………………………………..

On a recent visit to Finland, SWhoMBO was given a very hard time by a young gentleman (under 7 years old!) just for not having ALL the important bat facts at her fingertips. So, the paragraphs included here are for Master Knowledge of Kvevlax.

The common pipistrelle – the type we have at Hazels and the UK’s smallest and most common bat – of the order Chiroptera; with their forelimbs adapted as wings, they are the only mammals naturally capable of sustained flight. They roost in tree holes, bat boxes and even the roof spaces of houses.

Statistics – Length: 3.5-4.5cm; Wingspan: 20-23cm;  Weight: 3-8g;  Average life: 4-5 years When to see: April to October, they hibernate over winter.

Conservation Status – protected in the UK under the Wildlife and Countryside Act, 1981 and is a European Protected Species under Annex IV of the European Habitats Directive.

Diet – mainly a range of small flies as well as aquatic midges and mosquitos. The common pipistrelle is so small, it can fit into a matchbox, but easily eat 3,000 insects a night.

Echolocation – bats hunt in the dark using echolocation, meaning they use echoes of self-produced sounds bouncing off objects to help them navigate. Contrary to myth, bats are not blind. In fact, research shows that bats can prefer eyesight to sound when hunting.

Reproduction & life cycle – during the summer, females form maternity colonies where they give birth to a single young in June/July. After four weeks the young are able to fly and at six weeks they can forage for themselves. Male bats usually roost singly or in small groups in summer. During the mating period from July to September, males attract females by making repeated ‘songflights’.

Bright Idea of the Month – The Wildlife Trust suggests an original gift would be to adopt a bat to help fund conservation .. well, you could always ‘bat shop’ at Hazels!

Christmas

I know that the 2019 Christmas season is just a distant memory for most but Moses, Freddie and I just wanted to share with you a few photos from the Christmas visit to England by our delightful Finn Swede friends.

Girl Power

This photo speaks for itself!

What’s planned for February?

• Kitchen finally ordered (and deposit paid)
• Extension(s) windows and doors to be installed
• Electrics ‘first fix’
• Plumbing
• Plaster boarding
• (Yet) more summit meetings between Mr Rod and SWhoMBO to discuss ‘interiors’

Somewhere Over the Rainbow – December 2019

Freddie (the rodent fancier) here:

Many many thanks to our neighbours Giles and Antonia for sending on this stunning photograph of our new house and the lovely caption.

I just really hope that maybe there are two pots of gold ………….!!!!

Moses’ November Postbag

Goodness me, Moses was completely overwhelmed by the varied responses to his November offering:

Your new home looks really terrific you must all be so excited. Another fun and interesting post. Surrey Found-ling

Just read the latest blog. Great progress, so excited for you and the wonder of the flying things is a fountain of surprises. The house looks beautiful as also do the Christmas spirited felines. Mikal’s Mate

Mikal (on the right below) was delighted to receive a chocolate advent calendar from England.

From the Compton Couple:

What a great blog Moses, and such fantastic progress you’ve reported!  Your post was spotted while we were out with a friend. A fellow cat lover, she knew about your mammoth project, so we scrolled down to show her some pics – just of cats you understand! Our scrolling was somewhat over enthusiastic and we managed to land on the sad photos of the demise of Hambledon House and for a minute our blood ran cold, more than cold – our confused old brains thought it was Hazels – what had caused the blaze, had Mr Rod set fire to the remains of his sunflower plantation too close to the house …..?

Sanity regained, with scrolling finger well under control and over a calming coffee we digested the whole thing from top to bottom. Moses, don’t tell the others but our friend thought that you are the most elegant of cats! We now ‘eagle-ly’ await the December post, the last of 2019. Good wishes to you and all your readers for Christmas and the New Year. Compton Couple (plus our ailurophile friend) 

Of course, you probably won’t be surprised to hear that Moses and I could not stop Layla from ‘informing’ us that the noun ailurophile, (sometimes spelled aelurophile), comes from the Greek words for ‘cat’ and ‘lover’. And (inevitably) she could not resist adding further that the term ‘ailurophobe’ (dating from the early 20th century) means someone who dislikes or fears cats.

Last month’s competition – readers’ responses

Moses posted the photo above in November’s blog and asked for suggestions as to why these three were so engrossed. He was extremely disappointed to note that most of your submissions were completely unprintable! And the ‘best’ propositions were all along the lines of “Surely Mr Rod cannot be serious ……………..!!!!!!!!!!!!”  Maybe the general standards of blog readers should to be questioned closely and such competitions are not  a good idea after all.

The Greenoak Groupies sent the lovely photo below of their new oakframe house – also by Oakwrights – under construction on a more urban (but challenging) site in Esher. We know that Mr Rod and SWhoMBO are looking forward to observing the progress.

Your photographic skills clearly match your literary skills! Very impressed that those furry paws of yours can produce such amazing & detailed pictures. Even a pterodactyl to boot!!
You must be getting excited about testing out all those miles of underground heating cables, and choosing the best spot for your own sonambulistic moments ready for when it’s switched on. Not long now!!!! Guildford Girl

And who knew that laying underfloor heating was so complicated? Those Ancient Romans were amazing, weren’t they? Fantasy Flat Friend

I am so pleased to hear that the Eagle has landed safely and has kept away from the Pterdactyl…..he needs to take care!! Hope you and your friends are getting on alright….there don’t seem to be many cosy corners for you to hide…..have you asked the Boss (does she mean Mr Rod or SWhoMBO? Ed) where you are to sleep?? Good luck for the next phase…..the house looks magnificent! Puttenham Pal

We are sure that the 3 cats could work together to see off the pterodactyl. Hope our feline friends keep writing. Maidstone Miss

Very impressed by this month’s Brick in the Wall. The WWW have had no heat or shower for a week and lady of the house has resorted to extreme methods to escape. But the kitchen is looking stunning as is the bathroom! Very exciting. West Wickham Wanderers

In late December, we sent our roving reporter (SWhoMBO) to check on progress in West Wickham. She was most impressed by what has occurred so far:

External 

Monday 2 December was a very important milestone in the story of the Hazels new oak frame house build project. This was the day the concrete screed was to be poured onto the ground floor, over the underfloor heating coils.  Mr Edge was very relieved that the first lorry trundled up the driveway bright and early.

Internal

Curiosity Corner

The Alps are Calling

You know that it must be December and nearly Christmas when Mr Rod starts to pack for his first skiing trip of the season (this year to Val D’Isere).  I would really love to go with him sometime as I am sure could take my hunting abilities to new heights.

The Pink ‘Bath’

Readers with long memories and an acute appreciation of good taste will undoubtedly recall the delightful pink ‘bath’ that appeared at Hazels whilst the groundworks were underway.

Moses, Layla and I were so looking forward to the day when this glorious item of high fashion would be in pride of place in the master bathroom. We could picture Mr Rod and SWhoMBO luxuriating among the bubbles with glass of wine in hand (surely supplied by the Young Master), whilst gazing up the north field and discussing the events of the day. (Well, maybe not, I think it best that we draw a veil here – Ed.)

On behalf of Mr Rod, we kept a most watchful eye on this artefact as we did not want anyone to take it for their own enjoyment.

Then, disaster – sometime between the 2nd and 7th December, the ‘bath’ just disappeared! Where could it be?

We quickly checked everywhere and wondered if it had already been lovingly placed in its final resting place. But, no!

What to do? We were disconsolate. How would Mr Rod and SWhoMBO be able to unwind at the end of a hectic day with the sunflowers?

We were just idly wandering around the site when we spotted it …………………..

How could they? Ah well, back to the drawing board for another bath proposal.

Christmas 

This year the Ekman (Finn Swede) family from Malax, Finland came to stay with the Edge family for Christmas week. They stayed in Hazels barn whilst Mr Rod and SWhoMBO became the Young Master’s lodgers. The latter was most concerned about how this would work out (completely forgetting that he had ‘lodged’ with his parents for more than twenty years without too many mishaps). Fortunately, they did not disgrace themselves too much, other than Mr Rod insisting on cooking the whole salmon in the dishwasher on Christmas Day but then that is another story entirely.

The humans tried to make sure that the family had as many English Christmas experiences as possible. These included: nativity play with a large cast of actors and farmyard animals on the 400-hectare Wintershall estate; visits to Hamleys and Natural History Museum; afternoon tea at Four Seasons Hotel, Trinity Square; bus trip along Oxford & Regent Streets, Piccadilly, Trafalgar Square and the Strand to see the Christmas lights; pub lunch followed by crib service at Hambledon Church on Christmas Eve; Christmas stockings – complete with sugar mice, chocolate coins and brussel sprouts, opened on 25th (rather than on 24th); turkey with all the trimmings, Christmas pudding with silver charms, and crackers on Boxing Day; tour of Vansittart Mansion and Windsor Castle; Elena’s 21st birthday supper; and obligatory after Christmas production (‘School of Rock’). It is hardly surprising the family returned to Ostrobothnia for a rest!

The felines demonstrated that a change of live-in companions makes no difference to our regular nocturnal mousing activities and demands for additional sustenance when we think we can get away with it. We were most impressed with how Björn, in particular, dealt with all our various offerings.

It just leaves me to say that everyone at Hazels (felines and humans alike) looks forward to bringing you up to date with our building project in 2020 and ……………………………………..

November 2019 – The Eagle has Landed?

Moses here – I do hope that this will prove to be an interesting update for our readers.

We three felines have been keeping Mr Rod and SWhoMBO on their toes this month by catching lots of choice rodents and birds for their admiration and delectation (particularly at 2 o’clock in the morning!) We cannot quite understand why their enthusiasm rarely seems to match our own.

I am very pleased with the way in which the house appears as you approach it from the Hambledon Village end of Vann Lane (especially in the winter sunshine).

Following her October blog posting, Layla was quite taken aback to receive the following message from Mikal’s Mate in Helsinki:  “So excited for you and hoping all will go as planned. But, I was a bit surprised by one of your long-range photos – 

And, when we checked for ourselves, she proved to be so very very right ……….

This observation was drawn to the attention of Mr Rod and SWhoMBO who were in fits of laughter and made comments such as “we can always trust those sisters to spot something like this!”

However, detailed forensic investigation of the 10 November photograph resulted in a surprising revelation:

Who knew?

Layla was also delighted to hear from Fantasy Flat Friend (although she was a bit suspicious about her ‘praise’) “Such progress! And the October bulletin 24 hours early. You must be very proud!”  She continued to say “the West Wickham Wanderers’ project is running late and they still have their old kitchen in situ. They’re meeting the builders to get a clearer sense of the revised schedule, but surely builders will want to be finished by Christmas so that they can have their customary month off? (Methinks she shares her sense of humour with Layla!)

However, less than a few days later, we had word from the West Wickham Wanderers themselves and enclosing the photo (minus old kitchen) below: 

“This is the only time we’ll be able to see front to back as the walls to make the bathroom are now being constructed. Two weeks today until the kitchen is delivered –  a LOT of work to do but the builder says it will all be fine…………………………………. fingers crossed! WWW 

All the best of luck to the WWW and we will definitely be keeping a watching brief!

External progress

Internal progress

CURIOSITY CORNER

Trust my sister Layla to make us aware that she knows her Shakespeare – she just could not resist quoting from both Witch #2: “When the hurlyburly’s done, When the battle’s lost and won” and from Witch #3: “That will be ere the set of sun.”

(Yet) Another building project in Hambledon

Many of you will have known Hambledon House (a popular event venue), in Vann Lane – – near the Cricket Green and village shop.

One person was rescued and two people were rushed to hospital. A faulty tumble dryer was suspected to be the cause. The burnt-out ruins were a very sad sight in the village for many months.

But at long last, a new house is to be built on the site. First, the old house has had to be demolished …………  

We do not often venture that far down the lane but we will take a great interest in the building project.

What a year it seems to have been for fungi!

There is a long-standing private joke between the Young Master and Mr Rod about SWhomBO preferring her airplane seat to be as close to the front as she can get it. Of course, because she has rarely had the luxury of travelling any way other than ‘cattle’ class, (although Mr Edge has sometimes treated her to ‘Premium Economy’), the seat number is invariably considerably more than a single digit.

So, the Young Master sent her this card recently, indicating that he would ‘assign’ her to the front row. However, there is no pleasing some people as immediately she complained she would want to be seated in 1C rather than in 1A!

December Plans

Well, as you can see, my sister and I are starting to get ready for Christmas. Please note our sophisticated taste in alcohol.

Mr Rod and the Young Master are very well aware that SWhoMBO’s No 1 choice of bubbly is Pol Roger (the favourite champagne of Sir Winston Churchill from 1908), but they definitely do not want to spoil her anymore than necessary.

December Highlights:

• Pouring the ground floor screed
• Plywood covering cladding on first floor
• Front door and bell
• Kitchen plans

October 2019 – Raise the Roof

Hello, it’s Layla reporting for duty again.

As you can see from the photograph above, great progress has been made on our new build project during the past four weeks.

Please see below for my paw-by-paw account of the tiling and brick work completed on the ‘extensions’ during October.

I suppose I must first relinquish a small amount of editorial space to include some of the best snippets from Freddie’s mailbag:

The first is from Guildford Girl and she does conclude with a most welcome suggestion, “Well, Freddie, you have surpassed yourself this month. I witnessed some of these changes myself in mid September, and was delighted to see the progress on the extensions. Naturally, I can see the three of you spending more time in the upmarket West End of the house, rather than the smaller East End, as you clearly know your status in the world. It does concern me somewhat that with all these beautiful wooden timbers around, you guys will find it irresistible to use the house as a giant scratching post…………………!!”

………..of course, we would never have considered this possibility all by ourselves (Just who are you trying to kid? Ed) 

The next is from Maikl’s Mate in Helsinki, who says “Just read the September blog. Wonderful progress in equally wonderful autumn weather. How thrilling it is to see the ideas you described during our visit taking the concrete form. Also thrilling to see the beautiful balancing on fences by Layla and Freddie. Enjoyed all the photos – your editor was extremely busy reporting all the action filled days. Good luck with the next steps – and I will spend two minutes in silence remembering the exquisite sunflowers.” (Just cannot see the attraction myself, although I would not like Mr Rod to be aware of that.)

And finally, we three thought Mr Rod and SWhoMBO were touchingly delighted at the positive progress report from the West Wickham Wanderers about their own building project, “Thought you’d like to have an update – of course I’m not in the same league as you cats at Hazels but at least it’s good news for once!  We have a roof – so exciting!  We had a very despondent week the week before last when nothing really seemed to move. So, some uncomfortable meetings with the architect project managers and the builder.  And, lo and behold, things started moving – result!”

The very best of luck to the Wanderers and we look forward to seeing some photos soon.

And, as if our ears have not been damaged enough by loud sources very close to hand during morning, noon and night (I think you are exaggerating more than just a little! Ed), they have also suffered a further indignity of bombardment by alleged ‘news’. That is, Brexit Brouhaha and Trump Trivia at every hour of the day from every type of electronic device you could imagine. So, we empathise with our Californian cousin below and any thanks to Maidstone Miss for drawing this to our attention.

And yes, since I know you will all be querying, “brouhaha” is indeed a real word, meaning “fuss,” “argument” or “ruckus.” “Brouhaha” comes to English directly from the French, where it originally meant “noisy chattering”.

External Progress 

As I alluded to above, this month we have been overrun with people – oak frame workers, roof tilers, flat roof workers, ground workers, brick layers, plumbers, window/door frame installers, electricians and maybe even others of whom I know not their names. Mr Rod kept referring to an ‘Uncle Tom Cobley’ but, despite regular consultation with my fellow felines, I have found no evidence whatsoever that any such person graced our site with his appearance.

Putting aside all my prejudices (That will be the day – Ed), I have to admit that there has been a significant amount of tangible progress with the build project in recent weeks. And I hope you will agree that the photos below speak for themselves.

East End – view from the East

East End – view from the South 

East End – view from the North

West End – View from South West

West End – View from the North

Internal Progress – Oakwrights Phase 2 Sign off (Thursday 10 October)

This was a very important day indeed for Mr Rod and SWhoMBO, one where they ‘signed off’ the oak frame second stage work with their Oakwrights Project Manager (Matt Michael – shown centre below) and Oakland Vale Project Manager (Greville Thomas – shown left below). I think they were a little sad to say ‘farewell’ to the construction team, but they are absolutely delighted with the end result.

Friends Corner

We were all so pleased to see the return of ‘Dizzy Dirt Steve’ (Lucas Construction).  He had come back on site for a few days to (among other things) rebuild the brick pillars supporting the balcony legs (previously built by others).

We are also constantly amazed at the tasks to which the lovely Carol can turn her hand.

Then just when you thought you had heard the last of the sunflowers……………

……………then Mr Rod’s birthday was upon us in the middle of October and you readers let the side down by your insistence upon maintaining a sunflower theme.

So, this is Layla signing off – I will be returning in January 2020.

Planned highlights for November:

• Brickwork and roof tiling completed
• Floor membrane and insulation installed
• Ground source heat work commenced
• Return of the bats???????
• Kitchen plans firmed up

Hello, Freddie here reporting for duty.

So good to rely on someone knowing my best side 

September Postbag

It probably is incumbent on me to report that Moses did receive a few ‘bon mots’ this month in response to his August effort.

And here he is below imploring the Young Master to compose his own extravagant complimentary missive (‘Absolutely no chance’ – Layla).

However, he was so very happy that many Bloggers thought the ‘August 2019 Into the Light’ entry was “pretty awesome”.

Moses particularly liked the contribution from Czech Chick in Athens: “Love to read your blog and see what’s going on at Hazels. It’s beautiful! Not just the  new Oak house but also your barn and the whole site and countryside! Looks so peaceful! Of course I love Rod’s sunflowers. Perhaps you three cats should try to paint similar pictures to Van Gogh themselves! Might be a great success!”

Foundling from Purley was clearly very excited about the prospect of new scaffolding:   “Hi Moses, I hope that Mr Rod and SWhoMBO let you have a restful day today since you obviously need to be fully alert for “pre-lash” day tomorrow. Your supervision will be required and scaffolders need a careful eye, in case Mr Rod becomes too relaxed with the new company. Anyway keep going you are doing a marvellous job.”

We are all somewhat concerned that Mr Rod and SWhoMBO might be a little too influenced by the fanciful ideas of Fantasy Flat Friend: “Just reading your blog and laughing about the things you never knew you needed to know about lighting. I must tell about the things my friends in Wales learned about dressing table drawers. It really does seem to be never-ending!”

We were most interested in what the West Wickham Wanderers had to report:  “We were honoured to be mentioned and are delighted to announce that we have beginning of walls in our own project! The site is undoubtedly causing mystification to the local feline population who are struggling to understand just how messy humans can be – I hasten to reassure them that is not the resident humans – we are quite tidy generally speaking!

September Progress

After a few months of idly twiddling our paws, I don’t think any of us could possibly have guessed just how exciting a month September would prove to be.

But then, we did have a rather large clue in the arrival of a new portaloo next door to the builders’ container. These two now look for all the world like part of Dr Who’s fleet of time-travel conveniences. When I mused that the plural form of ”TARDIS” must surely be “TARDI” or the even cooler “TARDII”, Layla advised authoritatively that the rather more pedestrian “TARDISes” is correct.

Furthermore, Matt (our Oakwrights Project Manager) had sent Mr Rod and SWhoMBO some photos of the Phase 2 (extension) oak frames being pre-assembled in the factory in Herefordshire.

The Poles Have It

On Monday 2 September, the team of scaffolders arrived and (basking in beautiful sunshine) started to construct a forest of poles at either end of the house.

External Build 

We would like to introduce here our happy building team for Phase 2.

Suddenly there were swarms of the Oakwrights ‘Great and the Good’ (including the MD Mr Tim Crump) running around the building and the grounds – all clad in the appropriate safety gear. We are persuaded that SWhoMBO was convinced they had arrived just to celebrate her birthday! In fact, they had come to check that all was in order – the ‘OFSTED inspection’ equivalent in the building world.  Fortunately, whilst everything invariably looks good when the sun is shining, they all professed to be delighted with the project so far.

Internal Build

Fauna, Flora and Other Pastimes

Just a round-up of the non-building happenings around the site at Hazels (and beyond).

Pond Life

The Archers Come to Hambledon? 

Quite by chance, the Young Master discovered these photos taken during harvesting in Finland during early September. Frankly, he was absolutely horrified that his parents might be ‘getting ideas’ above their station.

As you would surely imagine, the Young Master is very concerned about what this all means and worries that SWhoMBO will try to change the name of ‘Hazels’ to ‘Brookfield’. He will be keeping a close watching brief and attempt to keep a particular annoying tune out of his mind.

Barn Terrace

Thursday 25 September – Tree Felling Day

Sadly, a number of trees were identified as being dead/dying and potentially dangerous. So, Julian (tree surgeon) and his team descended en masse to sort out the problem.

The Last of the Summer Sunflowers

I was not even going to mention sunflowers this month, but Sarah sent me this photo and I could not resist the smiley face!

Then SWhoMBO sent Mr Rod the photo below ……………………………………….

………. so, I thought I would just check up on the final days of the Hazels sunflower patch.

Highlights (we hope!) next month:

• Roof tiling on east and west ends
• Brickwork
• Temporary windows
• Progress with the pond ?????

Hi Readers – Moses here!

This month I wanted to impress you with my feline erudition. So, I investigated the synonyms for ‘August’ and was delighted with so many of the items on the list – baronial, gallant, glorious, grand, heroic, imperial, imposing, magnificent, majestic, monumental, noble, proud, regal, royal, splendid, and stately. 

As most of those seemed to apply to me, I basked in the reflected glory and happy pleasure of believing that August must surely be my month.

Therefore, imagine my chagrin (annoyance, irritation, vexation, exasperation, displeasure, pique, crossness, anger, rage, fury, and wrath) when Layla (Little Miss Know It All) took the greatest pleasure in ‘advising’ that these words were NOT synonyms of ‘August’ the month. I was further wounded when she told me in no uncertain terms that I had more in common with the antonyms (flighty, frivolous, giddy, goofy, silly and undignified) and more particularly with the near antonyms of ‘august’ (coarse, crass, crude, improper, indecent, uncouth, unseemly and vulgar).

Build Progress

Well, there has certainly been a flurry of activity in recent weeks. In time honoured “We are a Grandmother” fashion, I can report that “We have a date for the extensions!”

Having signed off the new detailed drawings, the painful waiting, and waiting, and more waiting stage is over. Monday 9 September 2019 is the new magic date – when the oak frame team will return to Hazels to start building the East and West ‘ends’. Our Oakwrights project manager (Matt) confirmed this on his site visit just after the August Bank Holiday. Everything (including the crane) is now booked, so Mr Rod and SWhoMBO occasionally allow themselves a few barely concealed springs in their step.

The ‘pre-lash’ day is Monday 2 September 2019 when the new scaffolders ride into town.  We heard Mr Rod confiding to SWhoMBO that at last we have a scaffold company who both reads and understands the brief, arrives on time for appointments, asks pertinent questions and seems to know exactly what is required of them.

Lighting Design

This week we three were all but ignored for almost two days when we were forced to endure a visitation by a lighting designer – based in Yorkshire, no less. The three of them were in and out of house, up and down the ladder so many times that my head was spinning by the end. In my view, lighting is a very black art indeed. What we three cats don’t know now about up-lighters, down-lighters, across-lighters and the like is not worth telling. I assure you, if they go ahead with half of this, then our beautiful oak beams will be lit to within an inch of their rings, with no hiding place whatsoever.

We were very amused every time Mr Rod and SWhoMBO discovered yet something else in the ‘must have’ list for the world of illumination about which they had been completely unaware (and did not even know they wanted!). They are even considering electric blinds, but I have to ask the simple question “is there something wrong with their arms?”

I am sure there will be more (much much more – Ed) on this in later postings.

Layla’s Postbag

Layla has been crowing for days about the number of hits she received on the July blog and the quantity of comments generated by her effort last month. So, in the interest of peaceful sibling co-existence, I am including an edited selection (only) of her mail:

The international element of our reader base has been well represented this month. Maikl’s Mate in Helsinki says “Thanks to Layla for the blog update. Let’s hope the production of the new frame parts will go smoothly and the building work can continue in September. And it was very interesting to see the skilfully handcrafted bird boxes.”

The pictures below from Helsinki demonstrate that sunflower boasting has quickly become a global sport and Finland has its own answer to Van Gogh.

There was also a thought-provoking response from Hong Kong Buddy: “Thanks for another update. Think I like Layla’s style …. sssh! Whilst there may not be a lot of happening on the building front, the wildlife and horticulture updates keep us very amused! Totally agree that one should spend more time observing the wild behaviour of the new PM and the ever falling Sterling which is now at its all time low in 28 months !!! Mr Rod may have to keep an eye out on the escalating building costs.”

The West Wickham Wanderers are very well qualified to empathise with Mr Rod and SWhoMBO because they are living, sleeping and dreaming through their own building project. “Just to say we are very impressed with Rod’s sunflowers!  And of course Layla’s guest editing is superb! On our way home to see how much more mud they have dug up!”

Folkestone Friends have taken some precious time out from their UK travels to pen: “We suppose there is a lot of measuring going on (probably in secret) by Sarah and Mr Rod. Planners have cold hearts! However, we are really pleased that all requested plans have been approved and are looking forward to seeing the finished result.  Well done Layla on your interim report, we look forward to the September issue as there should be some material progress by then.”

In closing this section, I must report that Freddie, Layla and I are completely perplexed by what Mr Rod could possibly mean when he opined that Puttenham Pal has hit the nail on the head with: “Wow! You cats do have a wonderful life at Hazels!”

It is most important that we cats keep a watching brief on the build project as who knows what the humans will do once our backs are turned? As you can see below, there is plenty to keep our interest going.

Sunflower Wars

I never thought the day would come when an alpha male tomcat such as I should wax lyrical about flowers. But, much to my (no, everyones’ – Ed) amazement, Mr Rod’s enthusiasm for sunflowers seems to have rubbed off on me in a big, big way and I am now helplessly afflicted for life.

The exchange of banter and photographs to back up their assertions that their respective sunflower specimens are the tallest, healthiest and most radiant continues unabated between Mr Rod and Sarah.

Some snaps of Mr Rod’s offerings are included below so I will now leave it to you to draw your own conclusions.

I am smitten with the darned things but I hope you too enjoy the quotations.

I don’t think I could put it better than the wry observation of  J.R.Rim: “Sunflowers end up facing the sun, but they go through a lot of dirt to find their way there.”

Seemingly, the Sunflower is the only flower with ‘flower’ in its name! Helianthus is the scientific name – Helia for Sun and Anthus for Flower. The property of facing the sun is mostly observed in young flowerheads and this generally stops once the flower starts to bloom (mature sunflowers generally face east). This fascinating phenomenon of flowers following the sun across the sky is called heliotropism.

Legend has it that sunflowers are the symbol of faith, loyalty, happiness and adoration. A sunflower head can produce up to 1,000 seeds, so you can see why some kinds are grown for food, seeds and oil.

…………………….. is one of the most popular paintings in the National Gallery. Contrary to popular belief he never painted a single artwork entitled Sunflowers, instead, he did several renditions of the large yellow blossoms in two separate series, one during a stay with his brother in Paris in 1887 and another during his tenancy in Arles 1888-9.

Whilst it pains me to say it, I think this will be the last mention of sunflowers in the blog (but only until next season – Mr Rod)

Freddie is looking forward to being ‘the one’ to regale you at the end of September with tales of the next exciting ‘extension’ stage.

Hello Readers!

I just know that all of you will be delighted that it is my (Layla’s) turn again to wield the pen and bring you news of what has been happening at Hazels.

Freddie has been utterly insufferable in the last few weeks, boasting about his bulging mailbags. I really must take issue with those of you have been encouraging him to have ideas above his station, especially Puttenham Pal “Well done Freddie. You had the exciting task of giving good news!” and Guildford Girl “Well Freddie, what a star you are!” 

Mind you, the latter did somewhat redeem herself by adding “It’s amazing how the three of you have taken over the entire Blog so brilliantly (How DID that happen? – Ed), leaving your Master and Mistress somewhat obsolete. I have yet to see either of them perusing the paperwork in such a relaxed fashion so clearly it’s your influences that are keeping the whole project on schedule. Who needs owners?” 

I also confess to being somewhat sceptical about the ‘so called’ humour of Compton Couple “Wow Freddie!  What a marvellous follow up to your siblings’ blogs. We LOVE your photo entitled ‘Open’ and assume that this is an enormous Cat Flap?

This is a great idea for you and the other sub editors as the entire rodent population of Hazels’ garden will be able to wander in, allowing you to lie in comfort waiting to pounce!

But, there is another photo which concerns us, namely ….

…………. a word of caution from our family’s Consultant Civil Engineer who advises that your project manager use something stronger to hold up that wall!!

Having climbed it ourselves we wholeheartedly support your request for a ‘proper staircase’ and feel that if there is not significant progress made by Mr Rod and his long suffering wife (of whom we hear very little) [funny that – Ed], then it should be reported to the highest authority.”

Thankfully, there was a flurry of other responses to the planning news imparted by Freddie at the end of June and we thank everyone for their kind messages of support, and in particular Hong Kong Buddy “Pleased to know that the last application has finally been granted and we all look forward to the final grand manor” and Surrey Found-ling “Gosh it looks so beautiful, really superb. Great news re planning permission – congratulations!”

I must admit that there is not a great deal of building work (is there ANY?  – Ed) in progress, but we three felines believe the house is now looking very much ‘at home’ in its environment.

Although there is not much happening outside (other than our female owner collecting an ever-increasing volume of rubble from around the site or the other owner tending his vegetables and dreaming of being invited to join the Gardeners’ Question Time panel), a great deal has been going on inside the barn.

Mr Rod and SWhoMBO have been poring over the revised frame drawings to sign them off so that the oak can be shipped from France prior to being cut in Herefordshire. Apparently, the construction will start again in September. Later than hoped, but at least progress is being made.

‘Animal Farm’

We have been doing our best to keep down the rodent population, but I thought I would share with you this cute photo of one who was rescued and lived to run the gauntlet on another day.

Friends called Silvia should definitely look away from the next two photos – of a grass snake discovered in the compost bins.

Gardeners’ Corner

Profile of Freddie’s Friend (Sarah)

Moses and I have always known that Freddie is our special friend Sarah’s favourite. She is his most devoted admirer, but please don’t think we are jealous.

I thought I would feature Sarah in this month’s blog. She is very shy, so I am only including photos of some of the most important things in her life, such as her two white alsatians.

Sarah keeps chickens at her lovely property in Witley. She always has to keep one step ahead of the foxes, although not always successfully. Mr Rod and SWhoMBO enjoy eating their eggs, especially as they have such yellow yolks.

Sarah is very talented in many ways. Her bird boxes have proved to be very popular, with birds and humans alike.

She is also in great demand to make miniature copies of customers’ caravans and other vehicles. So, if she is not walking the dogs or baking in the kitchen then she is most likely to be found ‘creating’ in the workshop.

Battle of the Sunflowers

When we three cats heard SWhoMBO closely questioning Mr Rod (interrogating, more like – Mr Rod) about the apparent ‘gulag’ at the top of the north field, we knew this might provide us with with some much-needed and entertaining light relief from the house wrangling.

We were not wrong.

Mr Rod’s complete devotion to (and even obsession with) his sunflower ‘girls’ has left us smirking behind our paws on many an afternoon and evening. And, of course, all those special moments of their upbringing have been captured on camera – just as if they were human offspring. Mr Rod says “Never underestimate the power of the sunflower.”

What we had not bargained for was the fierce battle that broke out between Mr Rod and Sarah for supremacy in the sunflower-growing arena. Their respective mobiles have been red hot with ever more ridiculous ‘height’ assertions and unbelievable counter claims. Each new message is greeted by loud peals of laughter and determination to have the final say.

As can be observed below, whilst Sarah’s sunflowers may not be quite so abundant, it must be admitted (with perhaps a little disloyalty to Mr Rod here) that hers are the taller  – at the moment……………………………………

In my view, this combative spirit is not at all dignified and has been quite exhausting in all this heat. Surely they should be discussing far more important things, such as the value of the pound sterling against the Euro………………..

Well, that’s all from me this month.

Let’s hope that Moses is able to utilise whatever few ‘cub reporter’ skills he has at his disposal at the end of August.