Good news at last!

It’s Freddie here to guide you through the various thrills and spills of the last four weeks.

The weeks of waiting (and waiting) for a decision on the extension application seemed to take its toll on humans and felines alike.

Then, after much nail-biting and hanging onto to the edge of seats, Thursday 13 June proved to be one of the most exciting days in the history of Hazels build – Waverley Planners finally gave the green light for both the extensions.

Whilst some (curious, one might say) amendments had be applied to each of the new roof lines, both the ground floor footprints remain the same. So, the house will not boast the most expensive patios in Surrey after all!

The Devon Diva was one of the first to send good wishes – Hooray indeed! Congratulations! It sounds as though it was trickier than Brexit and you did it with your very own Boris! (Readers may be unaware that one of Mr Rod’s middle names is Boris…)

Unfortunately, the impact of the wait has delayed the build by about 7 – 8 weeks. We understand that the oak frames need to be redesigned before the command can be given to cut the wood. However, once again we cats will be able to experience the entertaining delights of friendly homo sapien (seemingly Latin for “wise man”, scientific name for the human species) banter about how the interior will look.  (The big money is most definitely on SWhoMBO!)

We will never hear the last of it!

Much to my amazement (and even Layla is with me here), Moses’ turn as sub-editor last month proved to be a great success. However, we are becoming more than just a little jaded with the constant boasting about his bulging postbag.

However, to keep him quiet, I have included a few snippets below:

“Well done Moses – lovely bit of purrose!” Fernhurst Filly

“Great reading as ever! It will not be beyond Waverley to invent a Bank Holiday in June…….keep the faith and keep us posted.” Hascombe Honey

“Hi there Moses! You seem to have got your humans sorted out AND you take a pretty fine photo of the new Hazels! Can’t wait for the housewarming when the whole place is up and running. It looks magnificent, a bit like a church from one angle..” Puttenham Pal 

“Well done Moses. I really enjoyed your update and the photographs were a joy to behold. How wonderful to have Dennis in your lives – such a winning smile.” Spa Sister 

“Oh Moses – you are an equal star to Layla, particularly in the ‘getting on top of the paperwork’ department. Maybe ‘up’ your mouse offerings in the cat flap, to ‘rat’ level.” Guildford Girl

“Well done Moses – this is going to be an imposing building already looking good without the scaffolding. Now! Shall I show my wife the present in the cat flap? No! I don’t think that would be a good idea before she has cooked the evening meal.” Folkestone Friends

Opening Windows

I think I speak for all the Edge household when I say we are very pleased with the work done to install the opening windows and doors. All those for the main part of the house are now in situ – with the exception of the front door, which would be at risk of damage due to all the materials and equipment still required to pass through that aperture.

Gardening Corner 

The growing season seems to be in full flow and Mr Rod is out in his beloved vegetable patch whenever he can and when he is not taming the fields on the ride-on mower. He has roundly cursed the deer, who devoured ALL his raspberries just before he planned to enjoy the crop.

Strange Compound

I don’t often venture to the further limits of the top field, as there is plenty of unsuspecting prey to keep my interest closer to the house. However, in the past few weeks I noticed Mr Rod visiting an enclosed area up there on a very regular basis.  So, my curiosity got the better of me and I just had to investigate ………….

Next month:

• Update on the sunflowers
• Winners and losers in interior design
• Mystery profile

Hello, it’s Moses here!

My turn this month to prove my worth as sub-editor of this blog. As you may have gathered already, I am a fairly laidback kind of guy and you won’t find my prose littered with lots of fancy word nonsense.

I never thought I would be forced to say this, but my sister Layla does has proved herself to be a tour de force in the journalistic arena. Her April effort generated so much response from our readers. Surprisingly, the vast majority of the postbag consisted of comments about that darned fireplace! The snippets below are but just two examples:

“Well done Layla, great guest editorial! Not to be controversial, but that fireplace is lovely………!” Fernhurst Filly

“Dear Layla, you certainly have your Master and Mistress under control and I think you should decide where the fireplace goes. Just make sure that it’s in a draught free spot.” Guildford Girl

Planning Application

Now, I am sure that you were expecting news about the planning application? Well, please join an ever-restless crew.

I have concluded that it must be something to do with the large number of Bank Holidays in recent weeks, meaning that those concerned are ‘away from their desks’ for the longest of long times. Anyway, the unintended consequence is that Mr Rod and SWhoMBO are still awaiting confirmation from the Planning Authority.  Many apologies that I cannot give you a positive update but we three are rooting for them anyway.

We have done our best to cheer up our intrepid duo but, much to our surprise, a recent carefully selected (although admittedly not beautifully gift-wrapped) present was received neither gratefully nor graciously by them.

So you could say that the clock is ticking away …………………………………………..

Scaffold Dismantle

Despite this minor setback, there has been much activity behind the scenes.

We felines had become fairly accustomed to the forest of poles and planks surrounding the new construction.

So, we were most interested and excited when the scaffolders arrived back on site at the beginning of May to dismantle the lot. (According to all accounts, they will be back later in the year.)

The New Hazels Emerges

Bizarrely, we then became aware of an optical illusion in full swing. (Layla says I should not try to be too clever with my metaphors as it does not read well, but I say that editorial possession is nine tenths of publishing law!)

The house actually seems bigger now that the scaffolding is down! How can that be?

It is great fun to observe ‘the New Hazels’ from all sides.

Mr Rod and SWhoMBO

You might wonder what Mr Rod has being doing to fill the hours when he is not working at CityStore, spinning, driving the tractor or partaking of wine or gin and tonic?

Well, most evenings and weekends he can be found in his beloved vegetable garden and greenhouse.

Garden supervisor Carol occasionally has to remind him to be more diligent with the watering, but he is gradually getting the hang of things. (I think he has delusions of competing with Monty Don – no chance!)

In the meantime, SWhoMBO has demonstrated that she knows her place by concentrating on trying to win the ‘Tidiest building site’ award. Neither she nor we can believe the amount of brick and stone that is scattered around.

Bonners Barn

One evening recently I spotted Freddie walking purposefully down the driveway towards Bonners and my curiosity was piqued.

He told me that there was compelling evidence that the Bonners Party Barn was being used in anger for the first time. So, we continued our journey together down the drive in companionable silence.

He was absolutely right – there were indeed the delightful sounds of laughter, chat and music, plus much clinking of  glasses.

We had a sneak look inside and were very impressed with what we could see of the restoration, and particularly with the quality of the workmanship.

Our only disappointment was that we were not included on the guest list.

Profile of Dennis

Apparently, Dennis the gardener came with the house. Come rain or sunshine, he turns up at Hazels without fail every Tuesday afternoon. Where would they be without him?

He seems to be able turn his hand to most things, although he did scratch his head in bemusement when Mr Rod asked him to construct the (enormous) compost bins from some Sketch-Up drawings. (We would agree that these are the most over-engineered examples you could ever imagine!)

Dennis was born locally and what he does not know about our provincial neighbourhood is really not worth talking about. He has a fund of entertaining stories and seems to know about (or at the very least, of) just about everyone.

The 2nd law of gardening is “If it doesn’t move, strim it!”

Notwithstanding (2009) is a collection of short stories by Louis De Bernières, revolving around a fictional English village and its eccentric inhabitants.  Based on the village where De Bernières grew up, (Wormley, Surrey), it is rich in local detail, containing references to the nearby villages and towns of Hambledon, Chiddingfold, Godalming and Haslemere, as well as to Waitrose, the Merry Harriers pub and the “suicidal driving” of the nuns at St Dominic’s School.

You probably won’t be surprised to hear that Dennis can identify most of the (thinly disguised) characters featured in the book.

What Happens Next Month?

The doors and opening windows will be installed in w/b Monday 3 June.

Serious discussions will ensue with regard to lighting design – I cannot wait for the fur to fly in the barn about that one!

Finally – with luck, a fair wind, and every digit crossed, the planning application result should be in soon ……………………..  by any chance did I spot an omnivorous domesticated hoofed mammal (with sparse bristly hair and a flat snout for rooting in the soil) flying over there in the distance?

Yet Another Editorial Change

Hello everyone, Layla here!

Well, please don’t be too surprised! Freddie was permitted unfettered editorial freedom in March, so I do not think SWhoMBO was in any position whatsoever to deny my being given free rein in April. (Little does she suspect at the moment that Moses will undoubtedly wish to exercise his own right to wield the pen paw in future!)

Whilst I hate to admit it, the boy Freddie did more than ok last month and his posting generated the highest number (Possibly! – Ed) of positive responses since we started this caper last year. Nevertheless, I was somewhat taken aback by almost universal critical reaction to Moses’ – undeniably cavalier – approach to personal protection when negotiating scaffold and other obstacles.  This one from Maidstone Miss is fairly typical:

“March blog – I loved it. My only little concern is with health and safety. Please could you have a word with Moses about the need to wear a hard hat and steel capped boots when inspecting the site. Best wishes M.M.x”

Full protective clothing and equipment is now provided for all grimalkins but you may be a little surprised at my confession to there being no photographic evidence (as yet!) to support this assertion.

Planning application

I am fully aware that there has been a late Easter break and that there are yet more of those strange institutions ‘bank holidays’ on the horizon, but why oh why does it all take so long to hear back from the planners about whether they can agree to the extensions?

Apparently, the planning officer will be conducting his site visit on this Friday (3 May). Mr Rod will be in attendance, but we will also exercise a supervisory role. We saw the email saying that the red letter day for hearing the outcome of the application is 9 May.

You might accuse us three felines of being just a little bit biased, but we truly think the house will look even more ‘balanced’ when the ends are eventually constructed.

Bat boxes

We have often waxed lyrical in the past about those nocturnal flying mammals with wings formed from four elongated digits of the forelimb covered by a cutaneous membrane, invariably having adequate visual capabilities but often relying on echo-location. (Our U3A presentations are now legendary across all the Home Counties.) But if you dared to imagine that you had heard the last of the Hazels Chiroptera, then I need to apologise profusely for disappointing you.

You may recall that the ‘bat lady’ temporarily relocated three bats in the middle of last year? Well, it seems they will return in the very near future!

All eighteen species of bat living in the UK are fully protected by law. Under the Conservation of Habitats and Species Regulations 2010, it is illegal to injure, kill, capture or disturb a bat. It is also illegal to damage or destroy trees, buildings or other places used for roosting, even if bats are not present. Under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981, bats are additionally protected from intentional or reckless disturbance or obstruction of access to any place of shelter.

The legislation decrees that new house builders in the relevant locations must provide mitigation for disturbance of bats’ habitat.  Even Hazels can be no exception to this and, consequently, two bat boxes (one already in place) and three bat tiles will be provided for the bats currently on vacation and for those to be welcomed in future. I am unable to provide further info on a complicated alternative form of mitigation involving vents as I completely switched off the other day when Mr Rod was in full flow of explanation.

Fixed glazing

We were very pleased to see James return (accompanied by Ollie this time) to complete the outstanding fixed glazing tasks. We agree with the staff that the finishing touches to these  windows make all the difference.

Flak Jackets and Hard Hats Required!

As I expect you would have predicted, Mr Rod and SWhoMBO are now engaged in internecine combat over the interior details for the house. We three have been utterly shocked at the respective slaughter of ideas at breakfast, lunch and supper. I suppose we should be grateful that nothing but insults have been traded and, mercifully, they are both so exhausted by the time they retire to bed that the mutual destructive maiming of ‘concepts’ does not continue into the small hours.

Happily, a few important matters have been resolved quite satisfactorily, particularly following some most helpful remarks by FF and BD.

Regrettably, the same could not be said with regard to this fireplace. SWhoMBO had salvaged it from Hazels (cottage) for use in Hazels (new build) to provide a sense of continuity between old and new.

It is fair to state that Mr Rod never professed to share the same level of enthusiasm for the project but there was definitely more than tacit indication that he would support (and even humour) his wife, providing that they were in accord about the location.

So far, so good.

Hardly surprising then that SWhoMBO was completely outraged when, last week, not only did her husband veto the perfect new position she had identified on the landing for the fireplace but he also RENEGED on his previous agreement to it being in the house at all. Although I think it diplomatically advisable to draw a discreet veil over their full heated exchange, I do quietly muse as to what sort of revenge will be exacted.

Feline Input to Important Decisions 

The other day I came across this photo of my brother and our step-brother, taken as kittens and when they were going through their photogenic stage. At that time I had high hopes that, together, we would be able to exert considerable influence on the staff.

My suspicions should have been roused at this time that I would not receive the desired future co-operation as and when it was required.

All I did was request that Moses and Freddie give serious consideration to how we could making purposeful changes (more suited to our needs) to layout and flow of the house.

Utter failure!

Bonners Party Barn

We three still get a thrill from sauntering down the drive to identify whether the renovations to our neighbours’ barn have been completed.

NEXT MONTH!

• Hazels Phase 2 – the moment of truth with regard to planning
• Life without scaffolding
• Revenge of the slighted fireplace
• Will funding for the new kitchen need to be diverted for couples’ counselling?

Editorial Change

Hello – it’s Freddie here!

Due to a temporary lull in the new build project, there was no intention by SWhoMBO to post a blog entry in March. However, after much shameless demonstration of affection on my part, I eventually persuaded her to ‘take a chance on me’ to inform and entertain our readers this month .

So, here is my cat’s eye view on the ‘state of the union’ at Hazels.

Roof

The main progress has been with the roof and we are delighted to report that that Will, Barry and Golf completed Phase 1 of the tiling in the early weeks of the month.  My senior roving reporter (Moses) was sent out on an important fact-finding mission to check that all was in order.

Planning application

Surely, Mr Rod and SWhoMBO cannot be serious?

After all those months, if not years, of battling to get planning permission for their dream house, it seems that it is not over yet. Another planning application has been submitted for two extensions (under the 40% rule, although only 37% in this case).

Now we realise that this is where the the two ‘ends’ will slot in.  Our staff have taken a bit of a punt in that the foundations were completed at the same time as those for the man house.

Now perhaps you can see why I was laughing so much?

Dowels

We felines were certainly amazed to discover that no screw or nail features in the interior oak frame construction. Instead, wooden dowel rods have been used, like this example shown below.

We understand that wooden dowels are the strongest method for creating this type of joint. (Apparently, the dowel joint in solid oak failed at an astonishing average of 650 pounds pressure.)

Interior Design

Despite Mr Rod’s protestations that he only wants to consider exterior house requirements at the moment, it appears that the season to argue about interior design is now well and truly upon us.

Many would pity us because our ears have been assailed so cruelly by increasingly exhausting ‘exchanges of view’ concerning wood burning stoves, kitchen units, shower enclosures, lighting and so many other items.

Frankly, we are underwhelmed about the majority of their priorities but we do need to exert some influence in at least a few important areas in the new house:

Post Boxes

You will probably recall our reporting on our daily ritual of observing the position of the flag on the American-style post box. We think Kevin the Postie derives almost as much pleasure as we do from this.

Bonners Party Barn

We can never resist taking the long walk down the drive to find out what is happening to the barn being renovated by our near neighbours.

I do hope you have enjoyed my guest-editorship? The old guard will be returning in April.

Next Month:

1. The Oakwrights fixed glazing team returns.
2. Planning Officer makes site visit.
3. Mr Rod and SWHoMBO turn their minds to the detail for staircase, internal doors and opening windows.
4. John Bercat interviews Jakob Rees Moggie

Phase 1 Sign Off

CAT CORNER

Freddie, Moses and Layla reporting for duty again. As you can see, we spend hours discussing ‘the project’ and making constructive suggestions.

Egyptian Hieroglyphics?

When the frame first went up, we could neither make head nor tail of the chisel marks, which would not have seemed out of place in the Valley of the Kings as far as we were concerned. Furthermore, we did not fully appreciate the balletic quality of the construction teamwork. However, with all our research, we must now be the feline world’s experts in such matters and at last we fully appreciate the beautiful choreographed “raising” as seen in the film ‘Witness’.

It is imperative to be able to identify every one of the 400 plus timbers on site by their individual chisel markings and orientate them the correct way. It is also clear that finishing the build without any timbers left over is also to be recommended ….

Every piece of frame has only one place in which it fits properly, so an indelible identifying mark is an absolute essential.

The tagging tells you the order of assembly and even who cut this particular frame, because every framers’ numbering looks slightly different.

Outward Opening Front Door – really?

Mr Rod has always been insistent on an outward opening front door, the Scandinavian way. English builders are very, very suspicious abut this and try very hard to make oh so subtle comments to make him change his mind. (Not a hope – Ed)

We have investigated the temporary door and have to admit to being completely perplexed. What is your view?

NEXT MONTH:

Let the (final, we hope!) planning saga commence.

‘Oak’ – what’s in a word?

An oak is a large tree or shrub (belonging to the genus Quercus, of the beech family), which  bears acorns and typically has lobed deciduous leaves.

January Progress 

The bare bones ‘skeleton’ observed at the start of the month has been nurtured and coaxed to become more than just a shell of a house. The various teams have worked tirelessly to crane in the beams; put in place the insulation and roof panels; fit the wooden ‘feather edge’ cladding; position and adjust the internal partitions; insert the face glazing (fixed windows); and lay the batons for the roof tiling.

The Oakwrights teams drive up from Herefordshire every Monday and work long days until about 20:00 (under arc lights when it gets dark), returning home late on Thursday evening.

The photos below show that January building days were cold but (generally) sunny.

External Views:

The Interior:

The Roof:

Will, Barry and Golf made a start on the roof in w/b 28 January, using bright blue battens.

The Long View:

Dramatis Personae

CATS’ CORNER

Somehow we seem to have become a regular fixture in the monthly Hazels blog. SWhoMBO really doesn’t have a say anymore and, in fact, we overheard a friend of hers saying that she would no longer read the blog if we did not feature.

There is no stopping anything now here at Hazels. If we thought the autumn was hectic with the various building personnel coming and going, then the winter months are proving to be absolutely crazy.  The house has been going up (and up) and the bank balance has been going down (and down) so we have to assume Mr Rod and SWhoMBO must be reasonably content.

Recently Freddie was shown an example of what will be holding our new house together. Fascinating that our comfort and safety will be entirely dependent on wooden dowels rather than nails and screws.

We are all becoming very proficient at climbing the stepladders in order to inspect progress within the house. We rather like the beautiful exposed oak timbers and the smell of new wood is very pleasant.

We are sure you were hoping for a sneak preview of the proposed location of the bathtub, especially after all our combined efforts before Christmas to source an appropriate receptacle!

Well, this is the site of the north/south bathroom and the bath will feature in the window. We have to confess to being somewhat exercised about what they plan to do about blinds or shutters, as it would not do to frighten the wildlife.

It’s a mystery!

In the past, whenever close friends have asked Mr Rod about putting their ‘precious’ belongings into one of his storage centres, his first question has always been “Do you think you will ever use these items again?”

“If not, it is a waste of your money to pay to store things that will probably be thrown away. Much of our income is derived from people who say they will only be storing for three months and then three years later they empty their unit straight into the skip.”

So, when the Edge family moved from the Water Tower to Hazels, the items that were to go into the new house (when it was eventually built) were placed into two blue sea containers in the grounds. How Mr Rod and SWhoMBO scoffed when the Young Master dared to suggest that, rather than use everything, they would probably give or throw away most of the contents. He has resisted the temptation to express more than a small smirk when recently his parents announced they were ‘rationalising’ the containers (after three years) and had ‘grown out’ of much they had stored. This all proves that you should practice what you preach – and it is just as well they were not paying rent for all those months…………………………….

Bonners Barn

We mentioned last month that the lucky young people ‘over the road’ will soon have their own ‘party barn’. We have been intrigued to observe the recent progress and are filled with admiration for the fearless builders who seem to leap like gazelles over the roof whilst laying all the tiles.

We cannot wait for our ‘opening night’ invitations to arrive.

Twelve Layla Days of Christmas

We (Freddie and Moses) have to report that our sister Layla went missing during the Christmas period. She was seen at suppertime on 25th December and when she had not returned by the evening of Boxing Day, considerable consternation (only on the part of the humans) was evident. A great deal of hysteria about nothing as far as we were concerned.

When there was still no appearance on the following day, the staff consulted with neighbours to check she had not been locked in an outbuilding and they also started to search the surrounding fields, ditches and roads, fearing she may have lost out against an animal, automobile or bicycle. Kind friends posted messages on local facebook pages.

After twelve days with neither sight nor sound of her, we top cats were becoming accustomed to this being just a two cat household (although we were just a little disappointed that there was no longer food served for three). Mr Rod and SWhoMBO finally admitted that it was unlikely unlikely we would see her again.

When the Young Master came over for tea that day, it was decided to beak the bad news to him. He was quite upset as it transpires that she is his favourite. However, only ten minutes later Layla appeared at the cat door, extremely thin and very disoriented. Clearly she was locked in some place (we know not where) for all that time, but with access to water. She smelt very strange and so we pretended not to know her, producing our best lines in hissing and spitting.

Talk about the return of the prodigal cat – we could not believe the fuss that was made of her. Things have settled down a bit now and secretly we are quite pleased she is back.

Profile of Robert (Rob) Lovegrove 

Rob has worked for Mr Rod for more than fifteen years (at KeepSafe Self Storage, CityStore, and also at The Water Tower/Hazels/Great George Street) and you would have to go a long way to find a more loyal member of staff. He will always turn out at any hour of the day or night, and prides himself on being early.

As far as Rob is concerned, the dirtier the job the better! What he does not know about the workings of drains, toilets, and sewage pipes is definitely not worth knowing.

We understand that Rob did much sterling work at Mr Rod’s house in Finland. On one occasion, the two of them were engaged in some excavation work. He tells us that the look on SWhoMBO’s face when she returned to find a large trench stretching across the garden was to be seen to be believed!

When the Young Master’s house in Godalming was being renovated, it was not possible to place a skip outside. All the rooms in the property were stripped of their old plaster boards and each and every one of the multitude of rubbish bags were brought over to Hazels in Robert’s van, requiring many return journeys.

Rob’s main fault is his taste in jokes – we have never been very impressed with most of these, but then not everyone is perfect and he is always very kind to us.

**********************************************************************************

So, it has all been happening in Vann Lane this month.

December started as November finished – with rain, rain, and yet more rain. And the weather forecast certainly did not fill us with much confidence that the tight building schedule could or would be adhered to.

Inclement weather aside, our more pressing concern was to identify a scaffolding company. The oak frame company had provided 11 detailed drawings of the requirement, but these clearly frightened off many of those who were sent tender documents. In the end, we appointed the firm who had moved the grand piano from the Water Tower to Hambledon (involving the construction of a large platform to the first floor and the large landing window being removed and then replaced).

However, the current job proved to be much more of a challenge and Rod had to spend a number of hours working with the foreman to help him understand the plans and the site (it seems we had the wrong type of both!) Of course, the unwelcome rain could only hamper progress further and a two day job extended to five (and then a bit more).

We climbed up the scaffold (with all the required H&S gear of course and accompanied by Pinnochio) to renew our acquaintance with the views from the first floor. At the far end (between the yellow safety gate and the green Porta loo) will be the two person bath looking up towards the north field.

Monday 10 December was a ‘red letter’ day in our build project – when the crane and the first elements of our new house were due to arrive. These duly came up the driveway in the early morning (thank goodness we had improved and strengthened this). The Oakwrights team were a little frustrated that the scaffolding work was not completed, but it did provide them with an unexpected opportunity to organise all the materials to their satisfaction.

It was stressed to us with both mirth and seriousness that the lorry driver was ‘the worst one’, but both Rod and I thought the driver managed perfectly well and we were extremely thankful that we were not the ones who had to negotiate that so very narrow gap between the hedges. So, I was almost speechless with the unfairness of these comments when we observed the driver emerging from the cab – a ‘slip of a girl’. Perhaps unsurprisingly, full acceptance of equality has a way to go in some quarters.

We have to confess that the sight of the first oak load being craned off the lorry caused us both to feel very emotional (I maintain that Rod had tears in his eyes long before I did, but he begs to differ!).

The next ten days saw our house start to emerge like a phoenix from the ashes. We will let the pictures tell the story, as they can do do this far better than ever I could.

We think we can now truly say ‘We’ve been framed’.

Cats’ Corner

Hello! Freddie, Moses and Layla reporting in for the final time in 2018.

BATMAN

The fallout from our recent bat story seems to just run and run. We were very amused to discover the gift received by Mr Rod this year in the CityStore ‘Secret Santa’ was this:

BAMBOO

This made a very welcome relief to the other hot topic of the month – scaffolding. What a lot of fuss about a load of poles and the like. We had originally maintained a modicum of interest in the subject after spotting some interesting photos taken by Mr Rod and SWhoMBO in Hong Kong as bamboo sticks would have given the Hambledonians something else to talk about.

Sadly, the reality has been nothing like these pictures. But maybe with the next house …………………………..!!!!! (You three have to be joking, This is definitely the last one! Ed)

THEY ARE BUILDING – A ZOO

For most of the past month, our property has been a disgrace in terms of the interminable mud and yet more builders disturbing our peace and quiet.

How very true was our friend Ci’s wry observation – we all know Rod wants to have al pacas, but we had not realised he wanted giraffes too!

CHRISTMAS

We three just love Christmas and all the preparations. Mind you, with the new Hazels construction firmly in our minds, we were more than a little disappointed that there has been no evidence in Hambledon of any gingerbread house like this one snapped in Yttermark, Finland.

However, there have been some really great Christmas cards which have afforded us much entertainment. Here are a few that we believe our readers would enjoy.

Whilst the Scandi-look birch twig thing is indeed very pretty, what is wrong with a real Christmas tree? We can only hope that ALL the proper traditions will be adhered to (in full) when we move into the new house next year.

However, we were all rather taken with the lights on the frame of the house, even if they do create a distinct feeling of spookiness.

We would like to thank all our loyal readers for their kind support and contributions in 2018. We look forward to sharing with you more of our suggestions and thoughts on the Edge building project in 2019.

We wish everyone a very Happy New Year  – the card below expresses our sentiment exactly.

Brick by brick

After the delightful September and October (when the sun seemed to shine most days), the heavy grey skies which greeted us on the first day of November put us on notice with regard to imminent intermittent and continuous precipitation.

Our foreboding about the rain was hardly ill-founded as it was not long before torrents of the wet stuff acted on the bone dry ground to produce a most unpleasant thick and gloopy substance.

However, in between the days of inclement weather, work in November has continued apace (invariably supervised by one or more of our feline friends).

First, a binding agent was spread over the foundations to fill in any cracks.

Next, lorry after lorry delivered more and more materials to the site.  We have been astounded at how much of our cash is contained within the ground and with very little to show for it on the surface. (But, as everyone tells us, it has to be done!)

Then, ‘Head Brickie’ Gary and his merry team arrived to start building the sub-structure brick work – the plinth on which the oak frame will sit.

In true ‘Grand Designs’ fashion, there has been the inevitable delay.

It has taken a little longer to cut the oak frame than originally planned. However, the specification for the scaffolding is fairly challenging and it has also proved somewhat difficult to find suitable companies who are willing to tender for the business.  Fortunately, we now have three good quotes and we just need to identify which of these are able to start on site next week, because the oak frame is due to arrive in Hambledon on Monday 10 December………………….

CATS CORNER

Hello – (L – R) Moses, Freddie and Layla here once again!

We thought you might like to witness one of our regular ‘Alternative Board’ meetings in action. There is nothing like an extended comfortable snooze to counter any cat-astrophe that might befall us.

We suppose that there has been some small progress with the new build but we cannot see how Mr Rod and SWhoMBO could possibly move in by Christmas (you are all far too much ahead of yourselves – the target move in date is early December 2019! Ed) 

Bathtime

Having identified a luxury pink bath for the ‘Hazels New Build’ bathroom during October, we could hardly contain ourselves earlier this week when we noticed that its complimentary twin was now available (and in a most attractive shade of ‘dull’).

Who would have believed that our earlier mention of a potential tub could cause so much excitement among our reading public?

We have lost count of the number of blog groupies who have sent us ablution room pictures accompanied by the caption “Does my bath look big in this?”

However, it is very apparent that most of you are not taking this project seriously enough, clearly demonstrated by the following selection of your contributions:

We wouldn’t ‘shell out’ for this – the scary ‘tap’ is enough to give one nightmares!

Bat Time

I (Freddie) have been gratified by the number of readers who have commented that my story about Mr Rod and the bat flying round the bedroom is by far their favourite tale, or should that be ‘tail’ (no! – Ed). Whilst I am extremely disappointed to report the absence of further vespertilio moments since, I still derive considerable amusement and much comfort from that happy memory.

You will recall that there is now a bat sculpture hanging up outside the barn. Well, longtime friends Jennie and John (from Compton) took inspiration from that image for Mr Rod’s recent birthday card – I think you will enjoy their sense of humour.

The Barn Over the Road

I was minding my own business exploring the end of the Hazels driveway (we are not really supposed to venture down that far but the age old game of ‘chicken’ remains a compulsive hobby), when I came across a particular structure on our neighbour’s property that could only be described as a cocoon made from plastic and wood.

Discreet enquiries (eavesdropping more like – Ed) have revealed that this ancient barn is being renovated to become a stunning relaxation and entertaining party space for the young cubs who live in the associated house.

This certainly got me musing about what sort of plans Mr Rod and SWhoMBO might have for Hazels Barn once they have moved into Hazels New Build.

Surely it would not be too much to ask or to hope for that Moses, Layla and I could have our own Cat-hedral or Cat-acomb leisure play space………………………?

People Profile

Please allow us to introduce Michael (aka ‘Tonic’) and Carol.

Michael has been a most important member of Mr Rod’s construction team for more than fourteen years (first at KeepSafe Self Storage and currently at CityStore). He has also done sterling work at the Water Tower and at Hazels. Many of you have been most complimentary about the barn conversion – well, Michael is one of the craftsmen responsible for much of that.

His wife Carol retired last year as a school cook to become a freelance ‘Girl Friday’ (or, in her case, a ‘Girl Monday and, Tuesday or Wednesday’).  Carol’s philosophy regarding any object (animate or inanimate) is very simple – “paint it, weed it, dig it or burn it”! She is now intimately acquainted with the walls and bannisters in the Young Master’s cottage and has ably proved her green (and smoke) finger credentials in Mr Rod’s garden.

We always appreciate good jokes, and never more so than when they demonstrate our undeniable superiority over our canine rivals. So, we will end our November contribution by sharing this one told to us recently by Michael:

‘Dogs cannot have MRIs, but CATs-can.’ (Loud groan – Ed)

From a large hole in the ground to a concrete beam and block floor

There has been so much groundworks activity during the month of October that at last Rod and I can start to believe that we will have a new home sometime soon.  Other than a few days, the weather has been glorious and this has undoubtedly assisted progress.

We may well have blocked out some of the difficult times when we built the house abutting the Water Tower over twenty years ago, but our joint recollection is that everything was far far less complicated then.

The following series of photos provides a good flavour of what has been happening.

The next stage will be to complete the floor and build the sub-structure brick work to receive the oak frame.

Cat’s Corner

Yes, here we are again. Moses, Layla and Freddie are back by (very!) popular request.  SWhoMBO did not want us to post any more contributions  – she is probably jealous of our considerable journalistic success – but even she has had to acknowledge that most of our blog readers are far far more interested in what we have to say rather than follow her tedious paragraphs regarding progress of the new build.

We three all nodded our heads sagely in agreement when we heard the staff discussing this month’s blog title (surely they said it was to be “We are flawed”?) so we are more than a little chastened to discover we got this ever so slightly wrong.

We have been completely overwhelmed by fan mail from every corner of the globe, so ‘thanks very much’ to all those concerned and please keep up the good work. Each day we are most anxious to check the red flag on the postbox, knowing that the upright position could well herald the arrival of yet another package for us. Mind you, the senders (John and Kerrie) of the newspaper cutting below must have been seduced by all those cute little faces and completely forgotten we are highly trained assassins – as if we would ever create a home from home for rodents, other than to lure them to become a cat snackerel (we do like this word and for that we are greatly indebted to Cec!)

A ‘rogue’ feline friend sent us (via our special friend Sarah Richards) this fascinating photo of himself and a ‘detainee’ who had just happened to stroll into his embassy/house. We thought it was particularly topical in a dark humour sort of way.  

At the beginning of October we discovered a couple of new signs at the end of the driveway.  In the red one, we judged the first syllable of the second word ‘Con’ to be spot on. Surely Mr Rod realised there was absolutely no ‘building’ work happening in the early part of the month. As far as we were concerned, the various teams were in competitive combat only to determine who could make the biggest mess of our garden.

However, we did not ‘see red’ with the second sign proclaiming the house name as it is such a vast improvement on the previous one.

We consider it is our duty to carry out a daily inspection of the building site to check that all is proceeding to plan. If anyone had bothered to ask us, we would have advised that those pro-forma shutters would be no use at all for our foundation work!

Surely we cannot be the only ones who had noticed that the same mountains of earth were being moved around over and over again? We overheard the main man Steve laughing about this phenomenon and claiming it was known in the trade as ‘dizzy dirt’.

Seemingly, Thursday 18 October was a very important day for the project because concrete was to be poured into the foundations. Mr Rod and SWhoMBO were actually smiling (for once!) and you could almost taste the excitement in the air. Of course, we have a far more laid-back approach to such events. It amused us greatly to pretend to be completely disinterested in the process and we were even more entertained when our lengthy snooze in the bedroom provoked outraged human observation and comment.

However, as soon as everyone had departed that day, we were out there to inspect the site and ‘test’ the new surface. Unfortunately, we delayed our investigations a little too long and so were unable to leave an imprint of our paws. Even more unfortunately, we were caught in the act…………………

Judging by the number of such publications that cross this threshold on an ever-increasing basis, we have concluded that our fortunes would be assured if we were to invest in interior design magazines. The ‘house file’ grows bigger by the day with the addition of yet more cuttings and articles containing the most wacky of ideas. Consequently, we are now fearful that we will be forced to gaze upon boring mood boards and (even worse) subjected to interminable discussions about kitchen layouts and the like during the long winter evenings.  The only planning considerations required are the optimum siting (and easy opening) of cat food store cupboards plus the identification of sufficient, safe and soft places in which to recline after a hard night’s hunting or a busy day’s cat-napping?

There is only a small shower room in Hazels Barn so we were somewhat surprised to hear how exercised Mr Rod and SWhoMBO have been in their ‘exchange of views’ about the various shower/bathrooms in the new Hazels House.  Whilst there is agreement that the bath be large enough for both of them (far too much information) and positioned in the window looking towards the north field, they are still in negotiation about the style, colour and material.

Never let it be said that we are insensitive to human ablution requirements. We have selflessly investigated the matter thoroughly and there is no need to search any further because on one of our daily site inspections we identified the ideal bathing solution.

We believe Mr Rod and SWhoMBO will be absolutely delighted with the shape, size and colour of their new bath. There is even plenty of space for candles and champagne glasses……………

Next month

November is the time for final groundworks preparation before the oak frame is delivered at the start of December.

At last, things are starting to happen 

After the demolition process had come to an end, it did not take Mother Nature long to re-assert herself over the summer months.

The September weather has been very kind to us so the ground works have progressed very well (so far). It was a very special moment in the first week of the month when the low loader trundled up the driveway to deliver the excavator.

Next came the ‘setting out’ and marking out of the footprint (which seemed huge at this stage). All the family suddenly appeared – they wanted to ‘walk through’ the rooms.

Yet more heavy plant arrived on another beautiful autumnal day. The driveway was fast approaching the ‘not fit for purpose’ stage.

Our soil is heavy clay and the water table is high so we have to pile to ensure that the structure can be safely supported. The piling team used the auger to drill 26 piling holes (each 13 metres deep). These were then filled with concrete and iron bars inserted before the concrete ‘goes off’ (set).

Driveway 

The driveway was in a very sorry state and we were very concerned that subsequent delivery lorries would break down the banks of the small stream on one side. Rod had the bright idea of sending the water down the middle of the driveway instead.

The stream was re-directed temporarily to avoid any water coming down before the top 15cm of the driveway surface was excavated to level it. A 1.5m channel was then dug in the middle of the driveway for the new position of the stream.

After that a layer of scalpings was put down.

Finally, Steve rolled the surface. Even Kevin the postman is very enthusiastic about the new surface.

Plan for October 

Position the shuttering and form the ground beams.

Paws for P.S.

Hello – Freddie, Moses and Layla here again!

Many kind readers have told us how much they enjoyed our tales about life in Hambledon with Mr Rod and SWhoMBO. In fact, we were so delighted with the feedback about our August update that we have come to the happy conclusion that maybe there is something to this blogging after all.

You will have seen from the entries above that there has been a general busy buzz of activity at Hazels during recent weeks. Indeed, on more occasions than we care to remember, we were quite unable to snooze quietly during the day after a heavy night’s roaming or hunting due to the noise of heavy plant on the move.

We all experienced a bit of a shock the other week and had to check whether Christmas had been brought forward this year. This is because we were astounded to discover one morning that, seemingly overnight, the Health and Safety goblins had descended upon our home turf  ‘to decorate’ the site with various information notices of many different hues. We have great sympathy for the poor old humans who can now only enter the property if they heed an enormous number of commands or regulations.

In the past month we have watched (generally from afar) the antics of the motley crews of ground and piling workers, and we have been particularly intrigued by their clothing. Does hard hat-wear and technicolour armour really count as fashion these days?  We also cannot believe how much tea and coffee they drink, and surely no one these days has so much sugar that the spoon stands up in the mug. And as for the chocolate biscuits………………..

However, we have great respect for them all, especially Steve (the main Lucas ground worker ) because he is so skilled with the excavator. When he marked out the footprint of the new house with blue paint we had to smile that evening at how excitable all members of the Edge family suddenly became (we think we may have mentioned before that they seem to be so easily pleased). But, not wanting to be left out, we too explored the whole layout. (In our opinion, Moses was only interested to learn about the location of the future cat food cupboard – Freddie and Layla)  

We were somewhat concerned to understand the location of the site office.

But, when we viewed it from the front, things were not what they seemed.

Ah, so this is where it is.

What’s Next?

At this precise moment we three don’t think we can be at all sure about this as project management looks likely to go the dogs. We wondered why Mr Rod and SWhoMBO skipped off so happily to the village shop on Saturday – for ‘a tasting’ they said.

Well, now we know and we have secretly photographed the evidence. They may well live in Vann Lane but do they really need to be encouraged to partake further of community spirit?