April 2019 – The Waiting Game

Yet Another Editorial Change

Hello everyone, Layla here!

Well, please don’t be too surprised! Freddie was permitted unfettered editorial freedom in March, so I do not think SWhoMBO was in any position whatsoever to deny my being given free rein in April. (Little does she suspect at the moment that Moses will undoubtedly wish to exercise his own right to wield the pen paw in future!)

Whilst I hate to admit it, the boy Freddie did more than ok last month and his posting generated the highest number (Possibly! – Ed) of positive responses since we started this caper last year. Nevertheless, I was somewhat taken aback by almost universal critical reaction to Moses’ – undeniably cavalier – approach to personal protection when negotiating scaffold and other obstacles.  This one from Maidstone Miss is fairly typical:

“March blog – I loved it. My only little concern is with health and safety. Please could you have a word with Moses about the need to wear a hard hat and steel capped boots when inspecting the site. Best wishes M.M.x”

Full protective clothing and equipment is now provided for all grimalkins but you may be a little surprised at my confession to there being no photographic evidence (as yet!) to support this assertion.

Planning application

I am fully aware that there has been a late Easter break and that there are yet more of those strange institutions ‘bank holidays’ on the horizon, but why oh why does it all take so long to hear back from the planners about whether they can agree to the extensions?

Apparently, the planning officer will be conducting his site visit on this Friday (3 May). Mr Rod will be in attendance, but we will also exercise a supervisory role. We saw the email saying that the red letter day for hearing the outcome of the application is 9 May.

You might accuse us three felines of being just a little bit biased, but we truly think the house will look even more ‘balanced’ when the ends are eventually constructed.

Bat boxes

We have often waxed lyrical in the past about those nocturnal flying mammals with wings formed from four elongated digits of the forelimb covered by a cutaneous membrane, invariably having adequate visual capabilities but often relying on echo-location. (Our U3A presentations are now legendary across all the Home Counties.) But if you dared to imagine that you had heard the last of the Hazels Chiroptera, then I need to apologise profusely for disappointing you.

You may recall that the ‘bat lady’ temporarily relocated three bats in the middle of last year? Well, it seems they will return in the very near future!

All eighteen species of bat living in the UK are fully protected by law. Under the Conservation of Habitats and Species Regulations 2010, it is illegal to injure, kill, capture or disturb a bat. It is also illegal to damage or destroy trees, buildings or other places used for roosting, even if bats are not present. Under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981, bats are additionally protected from intentional or reckless disturbance or obstruction of access to any place of shelter.

The legislation decrees that new house builders in the relevant locations must provide mitigation for disturbance of bats’ habitat.  Even Hazels can be no exception to this and, consequently, two bat boxes (one already in place) and three bat tiles will be provided for the bats currently on vacation and for those to be welcomed in future. I am unable to provide further info on a complicated alternative form of mitigation involving vents as I completely switched off the other day when Mr Rod was in full flow of explanation.

Fixed glazing

We were very pleased to see James return (accompanied by Ollie this time) to complete the outstanding fixed glazing tasks. We agree with the staff that the finishing touches to these  windows make all the difference.

Flak Jackets and Hard Hats Required!

As I expect you would have predicted, Mr Rod and SWhoMBO are now engaged in internecine combat over the interior details for the house. We three have been utterly shocked at the respective slaughter of ideas at breakfast, lunch and supper. I suppose we should be grateful that nothing but insults have been traded and, mercifully, they are both so exhausted by the time they retire to bed that the mutual destructive maiming of ‘concepts’ does not continue into the small hours.

Happily, a few important matters have been resolved quite satisfactorily, particularly following some most helpful remarks by FF and BD.

Regrettably, the same could not be said with regard to this fireplace. SWhoMBO had salvaged it from Hazels (cottage) for use in Hazels (new build) to provide a sense of continuity between old and new.

It is fair to state that Mr Rod never professed to share the same level of enthusiasm for the project but there was definitely more than tacit indication that he would support (and even humour) his wife, providing that they were in accord about the location.

So far, so good.

Hardly surprising then that SWhoMBO was completely outraged when, last week, not only did her husband veto the perfect new position she had identified on the landing for the fireplace but he also RENEGED on his previous agreement to it being in the house at all. Although I think it diplomatically advisable to draw a discreet veil over their full heated exchange, I do quietly muse as to what sort of revenge will be exacted.

Feline Input to Important Decisions 

The other day I came across this photo of my brother and our step-brother, taken as kittens and when they were going through their photogenic stage. At that time I had high hopes that, together, we would be able to exert considerable influence on the staff.

My suspicions should have been roused at this time that I would not receive the desired future co-operation as and when it was required.

All I did was request that Moses and Freddie give serious consideration to how we could making purposeful changes (more suited to our needs) to layout and flow of the house.

Utter failure!

Bonners Party Barn

We three still get a thrill from sauntering down the drive to identify whether the renovations to our neighbours’ barn have been completed.

NEXT MONTH!

• Hazels Phase 2 – the moment of truth with regard to planning
• Life without scaffolding
• Revenge of the slighted fireplace
• Will funding for the new kitchen need to be diverted for couples’ counselling?